READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
