I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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