Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
