like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I smell stomach acid.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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