No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
