Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize