I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize