her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
