I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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