im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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