i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
