I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
