yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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