she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
