Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
