i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
