we're blogging at a bar
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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