I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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