I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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