just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
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Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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