I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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