I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
