She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
