One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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