Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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