I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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