You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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