now i know why i became what i already was.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
