dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
