they need to just BURY HIM!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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