I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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