So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
what day is it and did you see me today?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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