she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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