If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
