who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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