Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Let's get the cat blown out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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