She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
