The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
