Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
