Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
