I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize