Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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