Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
