Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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