JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
