yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
