to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
