just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
