he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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