i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
