my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It was confusing and full of hummus
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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