I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
