Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
