where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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