The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
