no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
