He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
